


I Always Thought...

by Ablissa



Series: First Impressions [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 23:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9040328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ablissa/pseuds/Ablissa
Summary: Dan and Phil have been together, and lived together, for five years. They've met at university, where due to strange circumstances, they were forced to share a room.On the day of their anniversary, they celebrate with a trip down the memory lane. It's Phil's plan and Phil's idea. However, Phil may have more than one surprise under his sleeve. How will Dan react when faced with a question that he never expected just yet?Super fluffy. Takes place between chapter 24 and 25 of First Impressions (Perhaps I Was Wrong), but can be read alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Today is a special day, as it's been a year since I started posting First Impressions; as such, this fic is a celebration in itself. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my stories. If you're new, I highly recommend checking out the first story to begin with!
> 
> Art for this fic made by the wonderful **[mayuluh](http://mayuluh.tumblr.com)** : [here!](http://mayuluh.tumblr.com/post/155370932894/and-dan-dan-is-smiling-and-theres-laughter-in)

 "You _can't_ be serious."

They're both dressed and ready to go outside, standing in the dark (broken light bulb, as of three weeks ago) hallway of their still much too tiny apartment, their dog, Colin, curiously waiting at their feet. It's an early morning in April, far too early for Dan and Phil to usually be awake. Normally, they'd be asleep until noon if given the chance. Today, however, is a special day, and Phil is _trying_ to make an effort. Dan, on the other hand, is making things awfully difficult.

"I am! Put it on!"

"I am _not_ going out in that. People are going to think that we have some sort of a weird kink, Phil."

"No, they're not. We're just getting in the taxi."

"And we're going to...?"

" _Put it on!_ "

Dan makes a move to throw the thing away, the bastard, but Phil snatches it swiftly. His stern expression is cracking at the surface, a burst of laughter tickling the very tip of his tongue.

"It looks like something straight out of an adult store," Dan muses, unceremoniously taking it back and examining it.

"That's where I got it from," Phil admits ever-so-casually, observing Dan's expression closely as his eyes widen and his - currently rather pale, no surprise, they're both proper cave dwellers as of late - complexion turns a couple of shades redder.

The thoughts that are running through his boyfriend's head are visible, palpable, Phil could almost read them the way one reads the morning newspaper. After five years together, he knows this expression all too well.

He'd be lying if he said it's not one of his particular favourites.

They're silent for a moment until Dan finally budges, curiosity getting the best of him.

"I'll put it on in the car?" Dan eventually offers.

"No, you'll start making excuses again and I don't want to argue in front of the taxi driver."

"Right, because me getting in there in a flipping _blindfold_ is so much better," Dan chides.

Phil takes three steps until he's right up in Dan's personal space. He takes the blindfold from Dan, gentle, slender fingers softly brushing his knuckles. He then kisses his cheek, breath ghosting over his skin, and settles for the most effective weapon in his arsenal.  

"So you don't _want_ to find out what the surprise is?" he whispers, voice suddenly low and husky.

In the otherwise silent hallway, he clearly hears Dan's breath, catching somewhere in his throat.

"I never said _that_ ," Dan manages after a pause. If his voice is somewhat shaky, Phil is just gracious enough not to remark on it.

"Then put it on," Phil says, "Otherwise it won't be a surprise!"

He pulls away just as Dan begins to roll his eyes. Studying the man's expression, he full well knows he's won.

" _Fine_ ," Dan says. "Go on then. Seems like _you_ know how to use it."

Phil snorts. "Don't act all innocent now, Dan."

Dan opens his mouth to reply, cheeks once again growing red, but Phil, for once, is quicker. He leans forward and plants a slow kiss right on Dan's lips; a way of distraction, perhaps, but a pleasant one nonetheless. He then proceeds to put the silky, black fabric over Dan's eyes and carefully ties it around the back of his head.

"Can you --"

"I can't see shit," Dan whines, answering the question before it's even asked.

Just to be quite sure, Phil gently (if it's even possible to be gentle about something like that) pokes Dan right in the eye. The loud _what the fuck_ that follows tells him that Dan is indeed telling the truth.

A cocktail of relief and excitement washes over Phil. The taxi's been waiting downstairs for the better part of ten minutes and now, at last, they can get going.

His stomach lurches when he thinks of the _entirety_ of the surprise he's prepared for Dan. Best not to think of that just now.

 

"Finally! We're going! Come on!" he exclaims, says bye to Colin, who is none too pleased to be left on his lonesome, and steps out the door with Dan in tow.

"Oh my god Phil, you must literally want me to _die_ on the stairs," Dan whines. Phil begins to drag him by the sleeve, insisting that everything will be fine, running a checklist in his mind.

The taxi - waiting.

The destination - sorted.

The additional surprise... Sorted.

The --

He loses his footing,  _nearly_   falls and almost brings Dan with him.

"I forgot my wallet!"

A mildly amused _why am I not surprised_ echoes behind him as he leaves Dan on the staircase, running back up to retrieve his wallet.

 

Everything _has to_ work out today.

-

 

It's working out well enough up until the moment when they leave the taxi. Their driver, despite Dan's previous concerns, has probably seen worse things than two lanky, pale guys, even if one of them is wearing a blindfold. Phil thinks he hasn't even noticed.

So yeah, the first bit of the trip goes fine, but it _does_ go slightly downhill from there, and Phil briefly regrets not buying something a little less _telling_ for this whole adventure. Dan, having already spent a fair bit of time complaining, quiets down as he shakily crosses the street, following Phil.

They're holding hands in public; a treat really, but this time, it can be reasonably explained, what with Dan wearing the blindfold. Even so, Phil prays to all the deities in the universe that no one will be snapping any pictures of them.

On the street, people stare, but not _too_ much. The real challenge lies inside, Phil knows, and as such, he parks Dan right outside.

"You need to wait here," he states, turning him around so that he is facing one of the bulletin boards that hang by the door. "I'll -- I'll come back in a moment!"

"What?" Dan sputters. "I'm not standing here by myself! At least take the bloody --"

"Just stay like this, it looks like you're reading something," Phil insists, squeezing Dan's hand before letting go.

"What am I reading? Where even _are_ we?" Dan calls, but Phil's already stepping inside, ignoring him. "Phil? _Phiiiil_?"

"I'll just be a mo'!"

 

He takes a deep breath, bracing himself for the upcoming ordeal.

It _will_ work out today.

 

 

-

 

Phil is right on the verge of giving up as Dan is ranting his head off while they make their way through the building. He neglected to take into consideration that leading a person whose eyes are covered would take far longer than walking normally, and Dan's impatient. Ranting or not, though, Dan doesn't remove the blindfold, and for that, Phil is grateful.

"Where are we going? Phil, come _on_ ," Dan asks, almost tripping over the carpet.

Phil steadies him, smiling at the question. It's only the hundredth time Dan's asked it. It's a good sign, he knows. And they've not got far left to go.

"It's a _surprise_ , Dan. Do you want me to google that word for you?" he quips, still grinning.

"We can't be going out to dinner," Dan muses out loud, "It's too early. Are we going to the movies? At this hour? Are we getting breakfast? Are we going home? Are we --"

Phil turns around and takes advantage of the fact that they're alone, quickly allowing his lips to meet Dan's. Dan's are chapped, as per usual, despite the copious amounts of lip balm he's been buying him. Phil's are insatiable, even five years later, even now. It's never been easy to stop at just one kiss.

But they're close now, and it all _has to_ work out today.

"Be quiet," Phil whispers somewhere close to Dan's mouth, "Or I'm going to hit you."

Dan gulps, pausing momentarily before composing himself. " _You're_ gonna _hit_ me, are you? I'm taller. And younger. And _awesomer_."

Phil nudges him playfully, repeatedly mashing him in the chest, then scoots away just before Dan tries to retaliate. He'd fail, anyway. Phil has the advantage of having unobstructed vision right now.

It's only about twenty more steps before Phil stops abruptly, Dan nearly falling due to the change of pace.

Deep breath. Just keep breathing. That works. That'll help. Surely. In the way that not doing it would make him _pass out_ , and he's already close enough to doing that. Breathe, breathe, breathe.

"We're here!" he announces happily at long last.

"Can I take this thing off, then?"

"Not yet."

He unlocks the room with the key that cost him an unreasonable amount, swings the door open and then, without any further ado, takes off Dan's blindfold.

"There we go," he mutters, voice suddenly cracking. He's staring at Dan, examining his expression closely as his boyfriend finally figures out just where they are.

"But -- _seriously_?"

Dan tears his eyes away only to turn around and look at Phil. The smile that is tugging at the corners of his lips spreads warmth throughout Phil's body; starting somewhere in his chest, ending at the toes.

He nods mutely. Dan shakes his head in silent disbelief. They both step inside.

Phil locks the door behind them, casting one last glance at the sign that says _Room 717_.

 

Dan takes two careful steps that take him to the middle of the room and looks around all over the place. Phil has already seen this room just yesterday, but he still gives himself the time to do the same, taking in the very familiar surroundings once more.

Two beds, cheaper than cheap. A dingy old wardrobe, the same one that they've previously had. Desks, chairs, curtains that are probably approaching Phil's age.

"I can't believe this," Dan mumbles, meeting Phil's gaze. He points at the key in Phil's hand and asks, "How'd you even _get this_? Don't tell me that you stole it, Phil. I'm not having you go to prison for stealing the key to _our old dorm room_ , of all things."

Phil shoots him a lopsided grin, crossing the room to stand right in front of Dan.

"I'm glad you still think I'm capable of things like that, Dan," he jokes, but his voice is too raspy; his emotions are seeping right through it. "I'd hate to be predictable."

Dan brightens visibly, teeth exposed in a wide smile. His gaze softens, brown eyes like pools of liquid chocolate.

Whenever their eyes meet, Phil often finds himself drifting away to some strange universe, a place that only the two of them have access to. Of course, this is the kind of thing he'd _never_ say out loud in front of Dan. He'd never hear the end of it.

"Is that a _yes_?"

Phil smiles sheepishly. "I paid off the kids that live here. They're not back until tomorrow."

Dan tilts his head, as if awaiting further explanation. "I thought... I thought we should do something else than, you know, pizza and telly for our anniversary this year, make it a bit special? And I, I thought, you know, what better way to celebrate than coming back to where we first met, you know?"

His face feels like it's on fire. It shouldn't really. Five years together, as of today. It's not like they're the half-strangers they used to be back when they lived in this miserable excuse of a room.

It's what's still left to go that's freaking him out, he hastily concludes, willing himself to stay in the moment.

Dan smirks, shaking his head ever so slightly, surveying the room briefly once more. His gaze eventually pauses on one of the beds.

"I came in yesterday and changed the sheets," Phil rushes to explain before Dan remarks on it, neglecting to mention the major cleaning he's had to do in addition to that, because Dan can only take so much without mocking him for his soppy ideas.

"Did you now," Dan comments, voice dropping an octave. "Are you _hoping_ for something, Phil Lester?"

 _I am_ , he thinks to himself, _but it's not quite the same thing_.

"I'm _always_ prepared. I'm like James Bond!"

Dan chuckles. "Which one in particular?"

"Daniel Craig, clearly."

"Right, of course. Same abs and all."

Phil snorts inelegantly. He then takes off his jacket, tossing it on the chair on his old side of the room, and motions for Dan to do the same.

Everything is so different. _They_ are different. Five years older, both having graduated, obtained some sort of a proper job, living together in a rented apartment. They're in their mid twenties now, and while on a regular day it feels like not much has changed, looking back now Phil knows that is not true.

They've grown together. They've gone through a lot together. They've learned from one another.

Phil has somehow, for many years now, never doubted that if _forever_ exists, he's found it in Dan. He remembers laying in his bed in this very room, staring across it at the bed that Dan slept in, willing himself not to tell the younger boy how he feels. He didn't want to risk losing a good thing, back then.

He's so glad that he did, in the end. They both took risks, but it was _always_ worth it. He only hopes that today will stay true to to that.

Everything is different, and yet, it always stays the same. And here, down the memory lane, at the very place they met for the first time, Phil feels that more than ever.

"And?" he asks at once, breaking the silence.

"And what?" Dan fires back. They're standing close, really close. Phil takes advantage of it by pulling Dan closer, draping his arms around his waist and relishing the way their bodies meet. It's familiar. It still sends shivers down his spine.

"D'you like it?"

He doesn't exactly _need_ to ask, and yet, he does. Years later, Dan has learned that Phil likes to hear things said out loud sometimes.

Dan kisses him, slowly and softly at first, then with more insistence and heat. In between their lips meeting, he whispers an _it's alright_ right into Phil's mouth.

It truly is, Phil thinks. It really is.

 

-

 

Hours pass lazily and Phil tells Dan about all the details and logistics that went into setting this whole thing up. Awkwardly approaching Eleanor the receptionist at the dorms (who will likely work there until she dies and begin to haunt the place the day after that), and telling her about his plan was the first step. Bribing the kids was the second. Forcing Dan to make it through town with a blindfold on his face was likely the hardest of all the steps, though.

It was awkward and difficult. It was _so_ very worth it.

Recreating an old memory, they remove the mattresses from the beds and toss them down on the floor, achieving something that resembles their bed back at home a little more. They then lie down on their backs, close as they can be, and slowly fall into a conversation about the past.

Their first trip home (somewhere along the years Dan has taken to calling Phil's family house _home_ , and Phil has never once disputed it). That night up on the hill in his hometown, the first kiss that started it all. The various things they've had to go through before they finally _both_ realized that yeah, they're in this for good.

Dan's voice is quiet and soft as he speaks, for once not mocking Phil for digging up old memories. Somehow, Phil's wish to remember the past as they start yet another year of the so called future seems to have rubbed off on Dan, because he too brings up some of his fondest memories, casting stray glances in Phil's direction, holding his hand and gently running his fingers across Phil's palm.

"I like this," Dan whispers after a pause, "Never thought I'd be happy to see this shitty room again."

Phil likes it too. A lot. Only unlike Dan, he knows there's one more thing on the agenda, and he can't seem to find the right moment.

What does he even say? What does he do? _What_?

He's talked this over with Louise before, but since then, the whole plan had changed about twenty times. In truth, it's still changing even now.

Should he sit up? No, he should _obviously_ be standing up. And Dan too, otherwise it's just weird. And what will Dan say? Is he going to laugh it off? Is he going to back away the way he used to years ago?

"Me neither," Phil agrees once the silence stretches for too long. "Suppose it's you that makes it all better."

"You're such a sap, Phil," Dan chides without any trace of malice. "I remember when we were visiting your mum and you were telling her about my job, you were all like..."

Dan keeps talking, but Phil is hardly listening. He _does_ remember their last visit back home, of course he does. He remembers telling his Mum. Remembers her crying, too, proper sobbing really. And Dan calls _him_ a sap.

Of course, Dan was busy playing with Phil's niece, so he hadn't noticed anything.

Warmth echoes throughout Phil's body at the mere memory of it. He wonders, if only briefly, how it can be possible that five years later, Dan still does this to him.

"I honestly don't believe your parents wanted to hear all about it," Dan goes on and on, oblivious to Phil's musings. "So I got promoted, big deal. You know I kind of prefer YouTube anyways. But your dad -- he came up to me and he was all -- he was all, y'know..."

On a different day, Dan's uninterrupted monologue may have captured more of Phil's attention. Today, he's not got that much of it to spare.

He thinks of the future now, instead of looking to the past. Thinks of himself in five years, and thus, of course, thinks of Dan. It kind of scares him how there is no longer a Dan _or_ Phil - everything is joined to the point that Phil can't imagine a day without him, let alone any longer stretch of time.

 _Surely_ this won't be surprising to Dan. _Surely_ he knows.

It's the silence that brings him back down to earth. Dan is staring at him, suspicious.

"Did you fall asleep? Because if you did, I swear I'm going to kick you. In the crotch."

Phil's eyes widen comically as he vigorously shakes his head, scouring his mind for the last thing Dan said while he tuned out. "I'm not! I'm listening! You were talking about my dad."

"Your granny now, but close enough. Anyway, d'you know that Jake's invited himself for dinner next week? I was like, no, I can't be fucked cooking again, but he --"

"I want to marry you," Phil blurts out without any warning, and immediately, the room falls eerily quiet.

Phil's mind is the opposite, thoughts racing at the speed of light, as he awaits a response.

He counts to thirty six before Dan finally speaks up, voice thick and husky. Phil is too scared to look in his direction, so he keeps his eyes firmly trained on the largest crack on the ceiling that he is able to find.

"You -- you -- Phil, are you actually _serious_? I mean we've talked, and I know we said we would eventually, but --"

Phil can't stand hearing this sort of uncertainty, he can't, so he sits up abruptly, looking down at Dan, immediately meeting his eyes. Dan seems almost bewildered, but Phil's gone this far, too far to quit now.

"I _want to_ marry you," he insists, "Not _sometime_ , not _eventually_ , I want to marry you _now_ , this year." He observes the way Dan's expression changes, catches on to the first trace of tears pooling in his eyes.

His heart sinks all the way down to the ground floor of the building, taking his breath away in the process.

"What's brought this on?" Dan stammers, eyes not once leaving Phil's.

He takes a shaky breath, looking up briefly before responding.

"Everything," he says somewhat weakly, "Just, _you_ , Dan. The fact that you always remember to bring me the right kind of milk when you go grocery shopping, the fact that you join me when I start singing in the shower, the -- the way you played with Martyn's daughter -- the way you call me on your lunch break every day, and yet always tell me something new..." he trails off, studying Dan's reaction carefully.

"Wow," Dan gasps heavily, then says nothing else.

"And it's -- when I think of five, ten, twenty years from now, you're always there. You're _always_ there, Dan." Phil's voice cracks at the end.

He's staring at Dan intently until the man finally meets his gaze. He wants to lean forward, kiss away the traces of tears, but he knows Dan better than that. He knows when not to push.

This is one request he'd _hate_ to ever get wrong.

"I didn't expect this," Dan finally admits. "I thought, someday we might, just like I've been thinking we should get our own place, if only to stop dealing with our neighbors, and I've been - I don't know, I just thought, _someday_. I haven't -- I haven't had a _plan,_ I just had these -- these thoughts."

"Me neither," Phil agrees, unsure of where this is going. "Not until recently."

Dan sits up suddenly, forcing Phil to move away. With that, he breaks their prolonged eye contact. Phil's gaze drops down to the ugly carpet beneath them.

"But d'you know," Dan adds quietly, "You're always there for me too. You've always been."

Phil looks up immediately, anxious to meet Dan's gaze.

And Dan, Dan is smiling, and there's laughter in his eyes and happiness evident in his tears, and Phil, Phil's heart, it's beating out a frantic rhythm and it can't seem to slow down, and he, he has to ask, he has to, because Dan knows that Phil needs to hear things said out loud, and he --

"So will you? Dan? Will you?" he rasps.

Dan merely nods at first, but then, moments later, he whispers, "Yeah."

And the whole world stops, and then it spins so much faster, and it's real but it's not, it can't be, but it is, it _is,_ and then Phil reaches inside his jacket, discarded on the chair, produces a tiny little box, opens it, shows Dan the ring - it's a simple band, silver, without any unusual additions, and Dan doesn't say anything, but Phil -- Phil takes his hand and puts it on his ring finger, and then Dan stretches out his arm, stares at the back of his hand, kisses the ring tenderly, and Phil can't breathe, likely will never breathe again, because how could he, how _could_ he.

Nothing remains to be said, for now, and their lips meet, and if any single gesture can say _I love you_ , it's this. It's this warmth, never ending, never fading, never changing.

With Dan, he is always warm. 

"D'you know what?" Dan asks once they finally part, quietly panting for breath.

"Mm?" he mumbles somewhere close to Dan's neck.

"I always thought," Dan begins, but pauses.

Dan says nothing. He takes his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, scrolls through the camera app until he finds the right picture. He hands Phil the phone. It's a picture of a shop window, clearly, although it's rather up close. There are a few different rings on display, not far different from the one he's just given Dan.

Phil tilts his head, confused.

"I always thought..." Dan pauses again, this time only to briefly kiss him. "That I'd eventually ask you first."

Phil smiles, hope for the future evident in his eyes.

Somehow, he feels like they are in for a very long summer.


End file.
